I celebrated my birthday the last week of January. It took up most of the week, which was pretty great. After getting over the holiday blues, my month of reflection was wonderful and spacious. I practiced over-the-top desserts for my party, enjoyed seeing my separate circles of friends mingling together, and reveled in a wonderful happiness. There was the party, a few special dinners, and my birthday week culminated with a small group coming with me to see Wicked.
Wicked is based on a novel by Gregory Macguire, retelling the story of the Wicked Witch of the West. It brings to question..."are people born wicked, or do they have wickedness thrust upon them?" The witch, Elphaba, is actually trying to stand up for what she believes in, only to painted as wicked because she stands in the way of the current ruling powers. Not only is the message very real, but the show is just fantastic. I've always been a musical fan, since my clarinet-playing days, but I hadn't taken in San Francisco's theater until recently. Wicked totally reawakened that love.
It was perfect timing too. At a time when I'm focusing on my gifts and living who I am to the fullest, so that I can encourage that in others...this was just the perfect show to see. My favorite song comes at the end of the first act, when Elphaba decides it's not worth living a lie to gain social acceptance. The song, Defining Gravity, is so powerful for me.
"Something has changed within me,
something is not the same.
I'm through with playing by the rules of
someone else's game.
Too late for second guessing,
Too late to go back to sleep.
It's time I trust my instincts,
close my eyes...and leap."
It feels like my theme song.
Showing posts with label everyday sacredness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label everyday sacredness. Show all posts
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Holistic Sex Work
In an earlier blog post, I mentioned the idea of holistic sex work. It's a strange idea to some. Many seem to think just seeing an escort is a sign of trouble. And yes, it can result in unhealthy patterns. There are many reasons to seek an evening with an escort, and I believe it is the intention we set, and the consciousness we hold during that time, that effects what will come out of that.
HOLISTIC:
1. Characterized by comprehension of the parts of something as intimately interconnected and explicable only by reference to the whole.
2. Characterized by the treatment of the whole person, taking into account mental and social factors, rather than just the physical.
For myself, holistic sex work is the acknowledgement of these many reasons, and treating each and every reason with holistic healing intent. It would take a different form for each client, or even for each visit.
It means, for me, acknowledging that there is healing found in the casual fuck. A good fuck breaks down barriers and expends an energy that reveals vulnerability, is sometimes the only way a person feels comfortable being vulnerable. But I also think that as a culture we undervalue vulnerability, or open-heartedness. There are some who say fucking is sex with no emotion connection, that only with "love-making" there is that opening to vulnerability, but I would say they haven't been fucked right. It is a different sort of connection, yes. It's a connection of our animal selves, a mixing of animal frenzy that seems to bypass our human emotional barriers. It's in the quiet moments of post-orgasm exhaustion that things suddenly open up.
There are some who cling to the duality that some things are sacred, and others are not. All dualities (good & evil, light & dark, sacred & profane) boil down to the same thing, and creates an opening for dogma to be established: This is Good, but not This. Put more of this Good stuff in your life, and less of this Bad stuff. However, what is good and bad is so very subjective. It depends on the people involved, the circumstances, the unseen karma at play.
My Truth is that All must be Sacred. It is all a part of this Universe, and even the not so pleasant parts of it play a purpose. Decomposition, rotting, the breaking down of shit, as unpleasant as it is, is needed to ensure there will be raw materials for new life. Life feeds off Death, as Death feeds from Life. We only separate these energies, calling some things light and some dark, to describe their natures. There is the sacred and the profane, or the accepted and the taboo, and these opposites create each other. There would be no taboo without decreeing what is accepted. This is my Holistic Truth: that sometimes we must play with these seemingly opposites and unite them. That is why many are drawn to sexually taboo fantasies, and why many seek to experiment with taboo activities. That is why I've never considered offering just massage, or limiting my services.
It's of vital importance to me to honor the union of opposites, and to facilitate that. I wish to make myself available to the energies that wish to be expressed at that moment, and to let it be what it is, rather than trying to guide it to any specific place.
HOLISTIC:
1. Characterized by comprehension of the parts of something as intimately interconnected and explicable only by reference to the whole.
2. Characterized by the treatment of the whole person, taking into account mental and social factors, rather than just the physical.
For myself, holistic sex work is the acknowledgement of these many reasons, and treating each and every reason with holistic healing intent. It would take a different form for each client, or even for each visit.
It means, for me, acknowledging that there is healing found in the casual fuck. A good fuck breaks down barriers and expends an energy that reveals vulnerability, is sometimes the only way a person feels comfortable being vulnerable. But I also think that as a culture we undervalue vulnerability, or open-heartedness. There are some who say fucking is sex with no emotion connection, that only with "love-making" there is that opening to vulnerability, but I would say they haven't been fucked right. It is a different sort of connection, yes. It's a connection of our animal selves, a mixing of animal frenzy that seems to bypass our human emotional barriers. It's in the quiet moments of post-orgasm exhaustion that things suddenly open up.
There are some who cling to the duality that some things are sacred, and others are not. All dualities (good & evil, light & dark, sacred & profane) boil down to the same thing, and creates an opening for dogma to be established: This is Good, but not This. Put more of this Good stuff in your life, and less of this Bad stuff. However, what is good and bad is so very subjective. It depends on the people involved, the circumstances, the unseen karma at play.
My Truth is that All must be Sacred. It is all a part of this Universe, and even the not so pleasant parts of it play a purpose. Decomposition, rotting, the breaking down of shit, as unpleasant as it is, is needed to ensure there will be raw materials for new life. Life feeds off Death, as Death feeds from Life. We only separate these energies, calling some things light and some dark, to describe their natures. There is the sacred and the profane, or the accepted and the taboo, and these opposites create each other. There would be no taboo without decreeing what is accepted. This is my Holistic Truth: that sometimes we must play with these seemingly opposites and unite them. That is why many are drawn to sexually taboo fantasies, and why many seek to experiment with taboo activities. That is why I've never considered offering just massage, or limiting my services.
It's of vital importance to me to honor the union of opposites, and to facilitate that. I wish to make myself available to the energies that wish to be expressed at that moment, and to let it be what it is, rather than trying to guide it to any specific place.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Ideas of Sacred Sex
In an online conversation today, it was mentioned by an aquaintance that he finds sacred sexuality too "serious," without room for exploring in a playful way. He is a fairly kinky fellow, as am I, and I can see his point. In all of my book study thus far, I am finding a lot less sex than I thought. Also, in my meeting with other sacred sexuality practitioners, I find they focus on energy work and massage. They rarely, if ever offer full service. It may be a legality thing, or a personal boundary and either way, it's up to them.
What we view as sacred is shaped by many things, including how we were raised, our culture and society. Sacred things are touched by God, and profane things are not.
I take a wider view of the sacred. Sacred sex does not need to be serious, quiet or solemn. It can be crass, silly, even perverted. The Sacred exists in all things, manifested or potentially; usually a combination of both. I do not separate between sacred and profane, at least not in a conventional way. The archetype of the Trickster has taught me there is sacredness in profanity, wisdom in folly, and foolishness is the serious. Any true idea contains its opposite within.
I know that in my own work, I straddle a line between the sacred sex priestess and the unabashed whore. And I like that. Not everyone who comes to me wants a heavy "sacred" vibe, or deep conversation. Sometimes they just need to be touched, to spend naked time with a lovely woman, or get their rocks off. Sometimes they don't know why. But its my job to read that desire and deliver it, and that's what I love and miss about this.
What we view as sacred is shaped by many things, including how we were raised, our culture and society. Sacred things are touched by God, and profane things are not.
I take a wider view of the sacred. Sacred sex does not need to be serious, quiet or solemn. It can be crass, silly, even perverted. The Sacred exists in all things, manifested or potentially; usually a combination of both. I do not separate between sacred and profane, at least not in a conventional way. The archetype of the Trickster has taught me there is sacredness in profanity, wisdom in folly, and foolishness is the serious. Any true idea contains its opposite within.
I know that in my own work, I straddle a line between the sacred sex priestess and the unabashed whore. And I like that. Not everyone who comes to me wants a heavy "sacred" vibe, or deep conversation. Sometimes they just need to be touched, to spend naked time with a lovely woman, or get their rocks off. Sometimes they don't know why. But its my job to read that desire and deliver it, and that's what I love and miss about this.
Monday, July 23, 2012
The Body as Temple
I've been on a sort of health kick: taking yoga, eating lots of greens and organics, and exploring the idea of body as temple. It has been helpful in keeping my presence in my body fully. All too often, I live in my head. Sex, of course, is a great way of being fully present in the body-sometimes to the point that the mind seems to dissolve into it.
Focusing on the health of my body, my first temple, has allowed me slow the pace of my mind's process. Helps me focus on the here and now, instead of a constant worry about the future (what will happen, am I prepared for it? what about contingency plans?) and to just let things be. It has helped me focus on myself in the moment.
My yoga teacher asked us to thank everyone who loved us into being during our meditation (legs up in the air, heels against the wall). There were many people to thank: my parents, my family, my close friends. But I also wanted to thank my clients here, all those who loved this inner harlot out into being.
Focusing on the health of my body, my first temple, has allowed me slow the pace of my mind's process. Helps me focus on the here and now, instead of a constant worry about the future (what will happen, am I prepared for it? what about contingency plans?) and to just let things be. It has helped me focus on myself in the moment.
My yoga teacher asked us to thank everyone who loved us into being during our meditation (legs up in the air, heels against the wall). There were many people to thank: my parents, my family, my close friends. But I also wanted to thank my clients here, all those who loved this inner harlot out into being.
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