Holistic Sex Work

In an earlier blog post, I mentioned the idea of holistic sex work. It's a strange idea to some. Many seem to think just seeing an escort is a sign of trouble. And yes, it can result in unhealthy patterns. There are many reasons to seek an evening with an escort, and I believe it is the intention we set, and the consciousness we hold during that time, that effects what will come out of that.

HOLISTIC:

  1. Characterized by comprehension of the parts of something as intimately interconnected and explicable only by reference to the whole.
  2. Characterized by the treatment of the whole person, taking into account mental and social factors, rather than just the physical.



For myself, holistic sex work is the acknowledgement of these many reasons, and treating each and every reason with holistic healing intent. It would take a different form for each client, or even for each visit.

It means, for me, acknowledging that there is healing found in the casual fuck. A good fuck breaks down barriers and expends an energy that reveals vulnerability, is sometimes the only way a person feels comfortable being vulnerable. But I also think that as a culture we undervalue vulnerability, or open-heartedness. There are some who say fucking is sex with no emotion connection, that only with "love-making" there is that opening to vulnerability, but I would say they haven't been fucked right.  It is a different sort of connection, yes.  It's a connection of our animal selves, a mixing of animal frenzy that seems to bypass our human emotional barriers. It's in the quiet moments of post-orgasm exhaustion that things suddenly open up.

There are some who cling to the duality that some things are sacred, and others are not.  All dualities (good & evil, light & dark, sacred & profane) boil down to the same thing, and creates an opening for dogma to be established: This is Good, but not This.  Put more of this Good stuff in your life, and less of this Bad stuff. However, what is good and bad is so very subjective. It depends on the people involved, the circumstances, the unseen karma at play. 

My Truth is that All must be Sacred. It is all a part of this Universe, and even the not so pleasant parts of it play a purpose.  Decomposition, rotting, the breaking down of shit, as unpleasant as it is, is needed to ensure there will be raw materials for new life.  Life feeds off Death, as Death feeds from Life. We only separate these energies, calling some things light and some dark, to describe their natures.  There is the sacred and the profane, or the accepted and the taboo, and these opposites create each other.  There would be no taboo without decreeing what is accepted. This is my Holistic Truth: that sometimes we must play with these seemingly opposites and unite them.  That is why many are drawn to sexually taboo fantasies, and why many seek to experiment with taboo activities. That is why I've never considered offering just massage, or limiting my services.

It's of vital importance to me to honor the union of opposites, and to facilitate that. I wish to make myself available to the energies that wish to be expressed at that moment, and to let it be what it is, rather than trying to guide it to any specific place.

Ideas of Sacred Sex

In an online conversation today, it was mentioned by an aquaintance that he finds sacred sexuality too "serious," without room for exploring in a playful way.  He is a fairly kinky fellow, as am I, and I can see his point.  In all of my book study thus far, I am finding a lot less sex than I thought. Also, in my meeting with other sacred sexuality practitioners, I find they focus on energy work and massage. They rarely, if ever offer full service. It may be a legality thing, or a personal boundary and either way, it's up to them.

What we view as sacred is shaped by many things, including how we were raised, our culture and society. Sacred things are touched by God, and profane things are not.

I take a wider view of the sacred.  Sacred sex does not need to be serious, quiet or solemn.  It can be crass, silly, even perverted. The Sacred exists in all things, manifested or potentially; usually a combination of both.  I do not separate between sacred and profane, at least not in a conventional way.  The archetype of the Trickster has taught me there is sacredness in profanity, wisdom in folly, and foolishness is the serious.  Any true idea contains its opposite within.

I know that in my own work, I straddle a line between the sacred sex priestess and the unabashed whore. And I like that. Not everyone who comes to me wants a heavy "sacred" vibe, or deep conversation.  Sometimes they just need to be touched, to spend naked time with a lovely woman, or get their rocks off.  Sometimes they don't know why.  But its my job to read that desire and deliver it, and that's what I love and miss about this.