Conversations at Work

I'm taking a lot more time off now, so I'm getting questions from co-workers. This one is preserved as much as possible because it's a gem.  Imagine me talking about this with an old Chinese woman....


"So...what this program you doing?"

"It's a program for...counseling. You know how some people feel bad about their body, they are lonely and want to meet someone? Or sometimes people just need to feel listened to, to feel connection. My friends always came to me for relationship advice, even before I ever started dating. So that's kinda what I'm doing..."

"Oh...you help people feel good with themselves. They spend time and feel better. They leave with smile on."

"....Yes, *****. That's exactly it!"

Diving Deeply: The Root Chakra

The last couple of weeks went by in a blur. The first part of spent in preparation for my weekend intensive. I had been calling them three day workshops, but now I understand why she calls them intensives. We spent most of three days with each other, learning from our teachers, from each other. Diving deeply into the energies of the root chakra: foundation, community, the material and sensual world, a coming into our bodies and our purpose. It was part magickal education, energy work, psychology and self-analysis, therapeutic techniques, life coaching and a path of spiritual initiation.

The first half of this week was something of a Toad's Wild Ride...getting my schedule straight for the next month and realizing my calendar starting to take shape for a full year. Holiday preparation. Beer brined turkey! And a list of old and dear friends to get back in touch with.

There is a new urge in me to become more seen...to live my path just a little more "out" and to put my gifts out there. To live my spiritual path more visibly and consciously.

And there is an urge to find space to let loose and be wild, and explore the spontaneous healing possible in that too.

Working with Taboo

One of my favorite types of sessions is exploring and playing with taboos.  Taboos, what is culturally or socially forbidden, is part of what defines a group of people. Those who don't play along are shunned or marginalized.  But nobody fits in completely, we are all drawn to one forbidden thing or another. We are drawn to these things because what is forbidden holds mystery, holds unknown keys to shadowed parts of ourselves.

My favorite taboo may be mixing sex in the workplace.  Stuffy offices, noisy factories. We are told constantly never to form relationships in the workplace, yet it happens. There is something in blurring those lines, in giving into animal drives despite logical reasoning. I also like the idea of bringing that erotic, intimate energy into places so often devoid of it.

And of course, coming to see a escort has its own taboo. Two people meeting in secret, creating something in a container made of shadow and secrecy.  It reminds me so much of magicians coming together for a secret sex rite.  Even just indulging in your own pleasure has been taboo due to this country's puritanical roots.

A more private taboo is my desire for submission. It's not secret that I tend towards the submissive in the bedroom and in play, but I rarely see the full range of it except with my own lovers. Much of it I would only indulge in with those I have a strong trust in. It takes a lot of trust for me to truly give up power.

There's lots of other taboos I like to explore, but I'll save them for another time. 

Notes from the Week

When last Sunday's Victory Bonfires broke out in the Mission...I had a feeling that it would be better to take the week off.  Not that a "week off" is ever truly a week off for me.  It's just that instead of luxuriating in pleasure I was doing things like....

.... checking out the coolest "science fair" all about booze and distilling. Lots of really finely crafted liquors: gin, whiskeys, rum, absinthe, geniveve (a dutch gin).  Oh yeah, and an awesome robot that mixed flaming cocktails.

.... discovering what they truly mean by: 'mo money, 'mo problems. Luckily, I can deal with this much.

.... sticking clear of the Giants parade. I'm not big on crowds, and especially crowds getting drunk before I had even gotten to my day job.

.... secret underground cabaret! I almost got tossed out for not wearing all black, (I had to go with red stockings, shamless whore that I am!)  but I made friends with our wonderful host by smoking her out with my finest trees. Wonderful acts of creation, of music and poetry, some just sharing stories. Ever so inspirational.

.... a randy & random hook-up with Hunter S. Thompson....okay, not really him, but in spirit. Spirit, I say.

.... setting up my long-term schedule for the coming months.  With my sacred courtesan weekend intensives, my incall weekends, trying to schedule some photo shoots, fitting in some family time for holidays...oh my, I am going to busy!


I remind myself to be patient for the next couple of months. I must keep the commitment to one job while transitioning to a stronger passion. It's good to keep the security while I take this time in preparation, to clarify my aims, to shift my personal habits...so many things making tiny shifts so they all orient in the same direction.  I want to live singularly, even if part of my work remains in shadow.