Money and Sacred Service

I havent been advertising lately. I want to, I miss providing, but I am also in the process of reorienting myself. In the past, money has been such a priority that I think it contributed to burn out.  Now I have a chance to build something different: a path that is nourishing to both the client and myself. I want to provide a service where I don't feel dependent on my patrons. I don't like the idea of getting anyone "hooked" on me, spending more money than they can afford. I want to foster a healthy client/courtesan relationship. It would bring me great joy to hear of my clients taking that healing home to their wives, to rekindle sex lives. 

Making money is still part of the aim for me--growing a business that is mine, that can support me in other creative endeavors. There is a form of magick that takes place in the exchange of money, I've written about this before. It helps both parties acknowledge an exchange of energies. It aids in defining the relationship. 

For this to be a sacred path, for me, i want to grow abundance in a holistic way.  And yes, I think sex work can be done in a holistic fashion. But I suppose thats another subject.

Sharing Secrets, pt 2.

The secret of my sex work came out to just about the last family member that I care to tell. As for the rest, they will judge me how they will and I am at peace with that.  But it felt good to tell her--even if she's not of blood relation, she is family.

It marks a turning point, where I am no longer fearful of any of my family or loved ones rejecting me for what I do. Less and less do I worry what judgment others have. If I spent all my time trying to please people, doing what I thought they wanted, they would judge me as weak-willed and simply being a people pleaser, and they would be right. There is the nature of a people pleaser in me (how else could I enjoy this job so?) but I cannot let it rule every hour of my life.

As far as I know, I am unknown at work, but I don't know how long that can last. It seems inevitable, with the number of men working there. If I advertise regularly, it's only a matter of time before one of them sees me. Even if I blurred my face, I am not sure that would hide me.

I'm still deciding if I care about that, or if it just excites me.