Wicked!

I celebrated my birthday the last week of January.  It took up most of the week, which was pretty great.  After getting over the holiday blues, my month of reflection was wonderful and spacious. I practiced over-the-top desserts for my party, enjoyed seeing my separate circles of friends mingling together, and reveled in a wonderful happiness.  There was the party, a few special dinners, and my birthday week culminated with a small group coming with me to see Wicked.

Wicked is based on a novel by Gregory Macguire, retelling the story of the Wicked Witch of the West.  It brings to question..."are people born wicked, or do they have wickedness thrust upon them?" The witch, Elphaba, is actually trying to stand up for what she believes in, only to painted as wicked because she stands in the way of the current ruling powers.  Not only is the message very real, but the show is just fantastic.  I've always been a musical fan, since my clarinet-playing days, but I hadn't taken in San Francisco's theater until recently.  Wicked totally reawakened that love.

It was perfect timing too. At a time when I'm focusing on my gifts and living who I am to the fullest, so that I can encourage that in others...this was just the perfect show to see.  My favorite song comes at the end of the first act, when Elphaba decides it's not worth living a lie to gain social acceptance.  The song, Defining Gravity, is so powerful for me.

"Something has changed within me,
something is not the same.
I'm through with playing by the rules of
someone else's game.

Too late for second guessing,
Too late to go back to sleep.
It's time I trust my instincts,
close my eyes...and leap."

It feels like my theme song.

The Body as Temple

I've been on a sort of health kick: taking yoga, eating lots of greens and organics, and exploring the idea of body as temple. It has been helpful in keeping my presence in my body fully. All too often, I live in my head.  Sex, of course, is a great way of being fully present in the body-sometimes to the point that the mind seems to dissolve into it.

Focusing on the health of my body, my first temple, has allowed me slow the pace of my mind's process. Helps me focus on the here and now, instead of a constant worry about the future (what will happen, am I prepared for it? what about contingency plans?)  and to just let things be.  It has helped me focus on myself in the moment.

My yoga teacher asked us to thank everyone who loved us into being during our meditation (legs up in the air, heels against the wall).  There were many people to thank: my parents, my family, my close friends.  But I also wanted to thank my clients here, all those who loved this inner harlot out into being. 

Yearning to play

I was at a friend's party when a woman came up to me with a small deck of tarot cards. I drew the 5 of cups, to which she said: Play.  It's good advice, for I've been working too hard without time for play.  I am missing long, lazy days spent in hotel rooms. I miss focusing my energies on just one person at a time, and sweet, sensual play an hour at a time.

So I am planning a little May Day celebration, to take time out and open my sacred temple once more.  I'm beginning preparations now; eating healthy and pampering my body, anointing myself with sacred oils. Meditating nightly on the erotic energies I shall be a channel for, those I want to attract and release.


May 1 and 2. Mark your calanders, and email me early. I'm not going to squeeze a bunch in, I'd rather leave a few hours in between and take in downtown and try not to spend it all on clothing.

We shall see.