With my dedication to the sacred courtesan school made, I have been chomping at the bit to get started. My first intensive isn't even until mid-November. It has been a practice of patience, and dedications to commitments. Indeed, there are a thousand little things I can do to be preparing (like writing more for this blog, hmm?) for the course.
My weekend in San Jose went rather well. I met some wonderful people, and I was reminded that being open and extending trust are the foundation of relationship, of connection. Even a random stranger can amaze you with profundity if you are open to listening. It can feel like an odd thing to do with a stranger, in a culture where we are told to distrust everything: strangers, the media, our government, our senses. We are even told to discount ourselves. Most of our wounds, then, are truly about trust and connection.
I also recognized how centered on self I have been...in my motivations, my plans, my goals, in my work. Even my motivation in giving pleasure seems somewhat rooted in self desires. And in seeing this, I realize that it's also okay. I'm not totally self-focused, I seem to be focusing my energy where I most need healing. This weekend, I turned that around. I focused more on perceiving the needs of others, and being fulfilled through the satisfaction of those needs.
There was a profound realization in doing this, in shifting the focus from mere desires, to the need for connection, the need to be heard. The healing goes both ways. When a true connection is made, trust is exchanged and both people are open to the other...the energy flows in a wider circle, it circulates and is cleansed. Healing is generated by the two, by the connection. It's not a one way transmission.
What is even more beautiful to me is the thought that this healing will continue, that is will be spread by connection. The healing is shared, and the open we are to it, the more it is shared, the more it regenerates.
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