Amulet

I wear a Goddess amulet more often than not, and I'm often asked which Goddess she is. The funny thing is, I never had an answer. It was not clearly any one goddess, no identifying symbols. I had asked many times, which Goddess are you, and she remained silent.  So I always insisted that she was the Nameless One, she represented all Goddesses.

As a witch, I believe things happen for a reason, especially concerning magical objects. My most powerful objects have always found me, I didn't go out looking for them. So when my Nameless Goddess decided stay behind for a prolonged visit...well, I hope She knows what she's doing.

I've been ever so distracted without it. And I think I took it for granted, didn't even realize how it's helped to shield and ground me.  The huge onyx on the back would do that. And of course, absorbing all that beautiful energy that I work with. In some ways, it has been good to go without. I am feeling more sensitive to the energies around me, allowing more work with them. And I can only hope She is bringing juicy healing to her guest.

Working this week, and especially this weekend, without her has been interesting. I think I've been taking a few more chances, relying more on intuition and strength of self to guide my choices. I am making an effort to feel the vibrations of people and how our vibrations harmonize.  I am sort of an auto-tuner....I easily harmonize with others vibrations. That's all part in how I work, I am realizing. Harmonize, guiding in building energy to heal, to attract, or release unwanted things.

And then, just last night...after a day of distractions and bounty in turn, in a moment of solitude, she spoke her name to me: babalon, Babalon, BABALON! She is the voice that calls me back towards the amulet, the Great Whore urging towards the sacred annihilation of sex, seeking her Beast to ride. She whispers her lessons to me in these moments, dancing in my kimono and victora secret's....

Healing doesn't always need to be serious. There is healing in laughter, in play, in fucking. It's in the open-hearted acceptance of all desires that breaks the shell of shame. There is healing in separation and solitude, as much as in union. And allowing for the universe to seek its natural balance, always working with the currents and not against them.

A Formal Dedication

After so much writing, anticipating, more journaling, meeting up and discussing, I've taken my next big step. Today I made a formal dedication to a sacred courtesan program, that is also an initiatory program. It's exactly what I asked the universe for. (Much better results than asking Santa.)

Just a couple years ago, I gave myself a cute little stripper name and set up shop on redbook. I had my challenges and doubts. There are probably a few to come, but as before I'll work through them. I even took a little break, and was happy for that too. It was the chances I was afforded when I came back that have paid off the best, by far. 

And throughout it all, have been all you specials guys out there. If you've seen me, or called, or just commented on a post, thank you. All of you have taught me about the gifts I have to share. Small gifts, but powerful and worthy. You've taught me that there really is a lot of common good in humanity.

This work has always been about shedding guilt and shame surrounding our sexuality, about healing that rift within. We all have wounds that we carry, and I see how human touch, affection, love and even lust can be healing. This is a chance to heal these deep wounds, to learn how to share that with others.

Dakini training!

I have been pretty quiet the past week. I was so excited about my workshop weekend, eagerly anticipating what knowledge I might receive, what I could learn from other women, networking opportunities, and how all this would improve my business.

I feel such a great urgency to move forward on this path. There was that break, and I wasn't too sure how I would come out of it, but something (like my Saturn return) sparked in me like a firework, and all of the sudden it's the only thing in my mind. 

The workshop was centered in tantric tradition and Dakini mentorship. While its not changing my service in an abrupt or large way, it will impact it in subtle and deeper ways. It was also a good step to meet others who meet this work in a sacred manner. And to see how others are forging their own path.

It was so wonderful to see a group of women, not in competition with each other, nor uniting against clients. Instead, we were sharing our gifts with each other, for the benefit and healing of our clients. It was so sweet.

My Incall dates are coming up and I'm so excited! I'm still going to be giving my first rate service, but now I'm incorporating new techniques, and consciously setting sacred space.

Holistic Sex Work

In an earlier blog post, I mentioned the idea of holistic sex work. It's a strange idea to some. Many seem to think just seeing an escort is a sign of trouble. And yes, it can result in unhealthy patterns. There are many reasons to seek an evening with an escort, and I believe it is the intention we set, and the consciousness we hold during that time, that effects what will come out of that.

HOLISTIC:

  1. Characterized by comprehension of the parts of something as intimately interconnected and explicable only by reference to the whole.
  2. Characterized by the treatment of the whole person, taking into account mental and social factors, rather than just the physical.



For myself, holistic sex work is the acknowledgement of these many reasons, and treating each and every reason with holistic healing intent. It would take a different form for each client, or even for each visit.

It means, for me, acknowledging that there is healing found in the casual fuck. A good fuck breaks down barriers and expends an energy that reveals vulnerability, is sometimes the only way a person feels comfortable being vulnerable. But I also think that as a culture we undervalue vulnerability, or open-heartedness. There are some who say fucking is sex with no emotion connection, that only with "love-making" there is that opening to vulnerability, but I would say they haven't been fucked right.  It is a different sort of connection, yes.  It's a connection of our animal selves, a mixing of animal frenzy that seems to bypass our human emotional barriers. It's in the quiet moments of post-orgasm exhaustion that things suddenly open up.

There are some who cling to the duality that some things are sacred, and others are not.  All dualities (good & evil, light & dark, sacred & profane) boil down to the same thing, and creates an opening for dogma to be established: This is Good, but not This.  Put more of this Good stuff in your life, and less of this Bad stuff. However, what is good and bad is so very subjective. It depends on the people involved, the circumstances, the unseen karma at play. 

My Truth is that All must be Sacred. It is all a part of this Universe, and even the not so pleasant parts of it play a purpose.  Decomposition, rotting, the breaking down of shit, as unpleasant as it is, is needed to ensure there will be raw materials for new life.  Life feeds off Death, as Death feeds from Life. We only separate these energies, calling some things light and some dark, to describe their natures.  There is the sacred and the profane, or the accepted and the taboo, and these opposites create each other.  There would be no taboo without decreeing what is accepted. This is my Holistic Truth: that sometimes we must play with these seemingly opposites and unite them.  That is why many are drawn to sexually taboo fantasies, and why many seek to experiment with taboo activities. That is why I've never considered offering just massage, or limiting my services.

It's of vital importance to me to honor the union of opposites, and to facilitate that. I wish to make myself available to the energies that wish to be expressed at that moment, and to let it be what it is, rather than trying to guide it to any specific place.

Notes from the Weekend

What a fabulous weekend! 

After the week has dragged on, I was doing my best to stay positive. It has been quite a while since I set myself up an Incall spot, and it was in the middle of convention/tourist season. Somehow I always manage to forget it. One of my good friends was caught unawares too, and decided to stay outside the city. It had me a little worried, but I tucked all that away and went ahead.

It's so awesome when intuition pays off.  I saw a handful of wonderful men, and had a great time. This weekend, perhaps more than anything else, really confirmed to me that this is where my path lies. That it goes deeper than just making money for having fun–it's also acknowledging that there is a deeper value in this particular type of fun. 

I have another couple of weeks before my three day workshop intensive. I'm considering some time in the south bay, but I'll have to decide fast so I can advertise! 

FAQ Series, pt 1

What should I expect in a first visit?

Come ready to relax and enjoy yourself. I like for first meetings to be more about experiencing the energy of these two people coming together, than about a preconceived fantasy. There's nothing wrong with fantasy play, but I seek joyful spontinaity over scripts.

What sort of etiquette should I keep in mind for our first meeting?

If you have a chance to freshen up first, that is always appreciated. There will be a shower and fresh towels available for your use if you'd prefer to shower once you arrive.  There will also be a spot for you to place my donation at the beginning of our date. If you aren't sure about something, please do ask. Im happy to answer polite questions. I tend to be generous with my time, so you can fully unwind. 

An FAQ series

Whatever have I been up to? Between work and yoga, there has been some serious soul searching going on, as a contemplate applying to a program that would take my path to the next level. Last year, I wasn't ready to commit to the program, and I'm glad I waited.  I do enjoy the people at my straight job, but I feel continually discontent. Worse still I feel drained energetically and creatively. I am feeling an overwhelming urge to put all my devotion into this personal path.

I did update my ads in what felt like forever. Fresh copy and a new rotation of pics. And I am working on a series of post that will become an FAQ. It also gives me a chance to beg you for questions. If you have something you'd like to ask, feel free to email me or post in the comments. Here's a short list that I've put together so far....

What should I expect in a first visit?

What sort of etiquette should I keep in mind for our first meeting?

Do you accept gifts?

Do you accept trades?

What draws you to the sacred side of this?

What separates sacred harlotry from other sex work?