Friday the 13th

Friday the 13th has always been a favorite day of mine.  The day and the number are sacred to the Goddess, Aphrodite/Venus in particular.  I went to an underground open mike cabaret, one of my favorite places to be.  The host knows just who to invite, keeps out the riff-raff so that every reader, poet, musician who comes to the stage is on this same spontaneous wavelength.  It was spiritually expansive, acknowledging the interconnectedness. Wow, it was like the Universe was speaking through them, reminding me that this is the change. It starts slow, but when all these creative types are speaking to the same thing, wishing for the same thing, bringing it down from the ethers through the distillation into language---my heart feels happy, it feels like the whole collective consciousness is shifting towards the desire for community and connection instead of competition.

These events are ever so inspiring to me. Having all that creative energies just fills me with verse.  Several poems came out from it, most very raw. A few I had to share privately, others with friends. it's funny, how sometimes you just don't have the words to explain. Sometimes you have to use symbol, metaphor.  And sometimes those emotions just have to be released, attached to words and put out into the world.  I feel lighter when I can get the words out onto paper, so they don't clog up my mind.

I am recognizing that this will need to be a practice for me, especially as I am desiring to put out more art, to create more. Drawing and sketching too. There are a few bodies I know that I'd just love to sketch or sculpt. I've always done better with 3-D media, sketches feel like intellectual exercises...translating something full into something flat. It can be fun, but it's only preparation.

So, writing, sketching, sculpting.  And I have to sew up a new diary, I finished mine this weekend.

Priming and Pampering (and sunburns, oh my)

This weekend was full of beauty rituals. I spent six hours getting my hair colored and cut. I think a good portion of that was the streak of magenta I had put in the back and she did an excellent job. It made Sunday evenings photoshoot so much better: my hair was freshly trimmed and glossy, and I even got a little education in doing hair and makeup!  I think a few are surprised to learn that was always more of a tomboy, and transitioning into this highly feminine world of curlers, primers, heels, palettes of eye shadow, hairspray, accessories...it's all very exciting and a little overwhelming at times.

Also had time for a little culture this weekend. A small group of friends gathered to take in a little Shakespeare. The company was performing Macbeth, which I hadn't seen performed yet.  I was so excited to go, I totally forgot sunblock, and my arms are a nice shade of cooked lobster.

Monday is here now, a sort of free day. Plenty of things to get done: preparing for my ordination, preparing for the sacred courtesan course in October, a few people I need to reach out to. A more permanent Incall space feels closer...I've called in a couple beautiful temp spots.  Might one of them become a Temple?  We can only wait and see.

The Way of the Superior Lover

I'm reading a pre-publication edition of a text, The Way of the Superior Lover.  It popped up while cleaning the house I'm cat-sitting at, and at such a good time.  As I'm coming into a new year of the sacred courtesan program, I am looking at what I want to learn, work on, and discover about myself.

I already knew a little bit of this....the tongue and fingers as energy directors, moving energy through the body with a caress, light scratches, biting, a nibble. These methods of exploring a body are my favorite, so I am looking forward to a week of practicing this.

The biggest trick, by far, is just to stay conscious of where the energy is moving, and where it wants to flow. Especially in the throes of pleasure, it's easy to let go and just merge with that pleasure, with your partner. To stay aware and to help the energy flow, circulating and increasing....to give that as a gift to your sexual partner, that love in the moment. Stepping back from the pursuit of climax, breathing through into new heights.

I have experienced these heights, stumbled into them really. It's the practice of becoming aware of these energies, and the practice of learning how to gracefully ease it where it wants to go. Taking yourself and ego out of it. 

Marketing Blah Blah

For several months, I had been telling myself this story: I don't know anything about business, or marketing or sales, I must not know what I'm doing. For a while, I researched.  I love to learn about new things, so for a while I'm quite happy learning about marketing, open ended questions, magic words, rate structuring, et cetera, et cetera.

But now it just feel formulaic to me, and I've never been a fan of formulas.  I prefer to do my own thing, my own way. Why must I worry about the branding of "My Own Thing?"  Or worry about if the words I use are ones that my clients read? I'm not even that concerned about making money, just so long as it comes. I have no quota, or agenda. (No, I suppose that's not true. I want to stir up change and new ways of doing things. Revolution is my agenda.)

I would really just like to do the good work where it's needed, and be supported in abundance in return. I want to support the truth that there is a tradition of this work being healing and supportive of all people and relationships involved. When it's done with the wrong intentions, wrong motivations, wrong energy, of course you'll get bad results.  And for so long we have been told that there can be no right motivations when it comes to sex and especially whoring.

Well, I am here questioning these assumptions. I know I am rooting my motivations in the spiritual, and that is what allows me to be open. I don't need to lead you in a mantra or even sit yabyum to help you experience this. When we meet and we feel the instant connection, the eagerness to explore this new lover guides us on our journey towards what is possible. Just what heights and depths can be reached? That is the work. Each time, more is possible.

This past year, I have learned some of the things possible. I'm looking forward to going deeper with each dive, each year.

Loving the kitty this week!

This week is special: I am cat sitting for a friend, and able to use her wonderful temple space. It's downtown, close to everything, and the cat is just a sweetie.  So much harder to get up from bed with this warm, cuddly ball of fur purring on top of my chest.  (oh yes, did I mention I was a cat person?)

Mondays are quickly becoming my favorite day. The past two have been so excellent: a wonderful balance of work and personal time, with the whole week to look forward to.  The rest of the week is almost a reaction to how Monday went.  Today I felt very much "stuck in a factory" and was counting the hours down. I am looking forward to my next free day, Thursday.  What will I do on my day off? If the phones are quiet, I may spend it at the Banya....

Summers Ending Already?

The summer has gone by so quickly. May, June, July all seemed to pass by in a blink of an eye.  Now, August is nearing its end, with the annual Burner Exodus. I still seek a better balance between my day job and being a companion. The job is such that I can easily let my mind drift while I settle into a Zen bookbinding meditation.

Lately, it drifts off into various imagined encounters. I try to imagine what my temple would look like, the altar dedicated with curvaceous Goddess statues, candles, a luxurious bed with purple sheets. Make it feel royal, a place between worlds, where two divine beings can come together for a moment and mingle in pleasure.

It is close...dedicating my energy to this manifestation. The months come around, and a new year of Sacred Courtesan school is coming around. What new insights will I learn, new healings to share, what new depths will I discover within myself?

Visiting the Banya

After my two weeks of making hundreds of books and discovering just how little I want to be someone's boss, I took the day off to check out the relatively new Banya in SF. Oh my.

Not since NYC, years ago, have I been to a proper Russian sauna with a cold plunge. There are clothing optional sections, but lots of people wear swim trunks or bikinis.  I'm in love with it, just after one visit.  The steam sauna was also amazing.  After a few rounds of steaming, cold plunging, sweating and soaking, there is a lovely balcony to take in the sun and the fresh breeze. There, you can chat with new and old friends, share a bottle of wine, and have some light snacks before heading back down into the tubs for a second round.

It's during the second round that I laid out and had a birch leaf treatment.  They soak the dried leaves to release the tannins and slap them across the skin to open up the pores.  It's done in the Russian sauna, so you are already warm and sweating. Once done, it's another cold plunge. 

I spent a little over six hours. Well worth it.  This is something that needs to become regular.