Loving What I Do

A lot of you probably already know that I am submissive in my sexuality. I'm mostly a service submissive: what I most enjoy is to be pleasing, to please my partner as much as I can.  I'm not much for pain, but I do love playing the slutty fucktoy to be used. My nymph just comes out and wants more.

But being a fucktoy isn't about seeking a hard fuck all the time. But about being open and available at all times, to his fingers, his lips, his hard phallus. About communicating when his touch turns me on, or when it's too much, but still taking it on as it pleases him. 

I prefer a man who plays nicely with his toys. Who does not have to express his dominance by force. A knowing that he is in control, a sureness in his voice, a willingness to take her hair and bend her over the table. His grip, his groping fingers against her clit makes his toy wet and wanting.  She was ready the moment he took her, but taking his time pleases him. He enjoys the soft moans pleading for more.

I suppose that's why I'm not a big fan of woman on top: I prefer to be pinned down underneath, bent over and held by the hips. Although the right man can dominate even when I'm straddling him, gripping my hips as he chooses the rhythm.

And when he cums...and I feel that pulsing inside...that's just as pleasing to me as my own orgasm. That's what it means for me as a submissive. I enjoy your pleasure as much as my own, a sexual empathy.

Springtime in the East Bay

I think it took a full two weeks to recover from the week I spent in New Mexico. It helped that my other job got busy just as I returned. I love my family...but I don't like the drama that comes with it. And maybe it sounds cold, but they distract me from from my goals.

Now I'm pushing forward again, back in this little dance. I have quite a few class-related events going on  in the east bay, so it makes sense to spend time there.  Even without me updating my ad, I had a few regulars seek me. 

I'm also loving my new rate. I am getting better clients, not as many hassling for quickies. They are more interested in my personality and the connection I offer. 

Working on a couple of erotica pieces...one goes back to the workplace (one of my favorite taboos) and another about my more submissive desires. 

Raising Rates in April!

I have spent most of February considering it, and I have made the decision to raise my rates.  When I look at the amount of personal attention, the efforts I make for each session, and all the extra details I tend to: I totally deserve it.

I'll be raising my rates to 250/hr for my sacred harlot services starting April 20.  I will also be offering a second type of session that is more (dare I say tantric?) and therapeutic in nature.

If we have seen each other before, you are welcome to keep using our original rate. I value you as a client and will continue to give you the same conscious and heartfelt service.

You've got a little over a month to see me and lock in your rate.

In related news: I'll be visiting Sante Fe for a short time in April. I'll be presiding over a marriage ceremony for my sister & her husband. They are already legally married, but they want a sacred ritual for it, and I'm more than happy for the chance. I'm also excited to have a chance to work in another city, and possibly make back all the money I'll end up shelling out for my sister's wedding. ;)

I found christlove through sexwork

Disclaimer: I'm not Christian. Never was nor will be. I do believe there are truths in every religion, and I've made my life a study to find these truths. I write this as a way to question traditional methods & beliefs.

During my first year as an escort, I experienced a lot of healing. Sometimes it was as simple as just paying my bills, sometimes my overall mood was better.  And sometimes I would have these moments of...revelation.

It was one of these moments that continues to stick with me, and I wasn't even working at the time.  I was actually just washing dishes, reflecting on a few past sessions. How open I felt, and how loving.  It truly felt like unconditional love for everyone.  At that moment, I just wanted to express it, to anyone and everyone who came my way.

I don't always feel that way, but it comes more and more.  In session, it flows most easily.  The biggest challenge has really been to balance that, to hold on to that compassion even when someone has sparked up my temper!

Judgement is the opposite of Love. When we get caught up in how someone "should be" and how they measure up, we loose track of what is.  What if their gift is not measurable? What if their gift is not valued by these high and mighty "standards," what then?  We are blinded to who and what a person Is, and the magnificence waiting to awaken.

In that moment, there was no judgement...only understanding.  Anyone could have walked into that door, and I would have found a unique, loving and lovable person. Of course, I have to balance this with compassionate boundaries.  And I feel this ability to see into the love, to just be the love for my clients, is one of my greatest gifts to offer.

A Heart Full of Love: The Heart Chakra

The Heart Chakra: Love, how we give and recieve it

The weekend retreat was powerful. We practiced giving & receiving adorations. You wouldn't think that taking in a compliment would be hard...but I saw the men link arms tightly, as if they could lose each other. There were tears, on both sides, and such courage.  It takes courage to be open enough that another person can see your true beauty.

While I am a Sex Worker, I am also a Heart Worker.  Wounds of the heart and wounds of the sex are intertwined. Well, I am finding them to be all intertwined, but especially these two.

This weekend, I dedicated to healing these wounds. Because as humans, we all have a need to feel loved, to feel desire, to feel connection.  And having those needs fufilled is healing, it can penetrate in a deep way, reach parts of your life you didn't think was connected.

Lights On, Eyes Open

First posted on 10 Sept 2010, on my old blog. What I wrote then is still so very true, and a great illustration of how the path has continued for me.


In my early sexual life, I think I had my eye closed most of the time. It's most natural when faces are pressed closed; shutting out one sense hightens the others. When the world goes dark behind the eyelids, bodies melt together easily, lost in touch and taste.

But more and more, I've been keeping my eyes open to enjoy the show. Something about the newness of each unique experience--and faces. I love watching your faces! Seeing eyebrows furrow in concentration of the rhythm, to that moment of release and you are in total bliss. Yes, and the dreamy look when your face is stuffed with pussy. These looks are my cues and a gift to know how much I please you.

Sometimes, with the bed rocking, it seems like I'm in a boat on the ocean, the walls and ceiling bobbing back and forth. Dimmed lights bring a greater sense of secrecy and intrigue to these trysts, while candlelight always brings me into a sacred place.

of course, there are times when I can't help but close my eyes and lose myself and perhaps that makes watching all the sweeter.

The Sensual & The Powerful: 2nd & 3rd Chakras

The second chakra is emotion, the sensual world, energy and flow.

The third is potency, personal power and ethics.

The past couple of months have reflected both of these. For myself, a weakness in one chakra is reflected in how another chakra manifests.  I've put most of my focus on building personal power. My week long birthday celebration was a wonderful reflection of growing confidence and ability to manifest. And in taking that energy forward, I've been flexing my social muscles, so to speak. Choosing to speak when I would normally stay silent. Breathing and centering instead of reacting. Letting my priestess come forward with compassion, instead of a defensive warrior.  All these are part of me, and it's my power to choose what I come forward with.

I am flowing, and I am manifesting. I've been dreaming, plotting and planning for these big changes, and they feel like they are starting to sprout, to push out against the surface of potentiality and into reality. I am awakening to a great empathy that feels rooted in my second chakra: I sense desire in others so easily, I sense those stronger, passionate feelings and feel them in myself.

As I came forward into the power chakra, it was my birthday week....and that really was a fabulous week.  If only it were that easy for me to sit and dwell in my power!  But so often, it feels like a struggle to be heard.  I know part of it is my fear that I will speak out loud & proud and be ridiculed....or worse yet, just ignored.  There's a fear-ruled voice that says it is better to stay silent, to be ignored without speaking because to take the chance would hurt so much more.

And that's old wounding.  Wounding that I am pushing past with each of these blog posts.  To speak my truth, even if it's a little intellectual and spiritual, and maybe not sexy hot.  There is sexiness in speaking Truth, in being brave enough to speak it.  Those are my lessons in these chakras.