The Sensual & The Powerful: 2nd & 3rd Chakras

The second chakra is emotion, the sensual world, energy and flow.

The third is potency, personal power and ethics.

The past couple of months have reflected both of these. For myself, a weakness in one chakra is reflected in how another chakra manifests.  I've put most of my focus on building personal power. My week long birthday celebration was a wonderful reflection of growing confidence and ability to manifest. And in taking that energy forward, I've been flexing my social muscles, so to speak. Choosing to speak when I would normally stay silent. Breathing and centering instead of reacting. Letting my priestess come forward with compassion, instead of a defensive warrior.  All these are part of me, and it's my power to choose what I come forward with.

I am flowing, and I am manifesting. I've been dreaming, plotting and planning for these big changes, and they feel like they are starting to sprout, to push out against the surface of potentiality and into reality. I am awakening to a great empathy that feels rooted in my second chakra: I sense desire in others so easily, I sense those stronger, passionate feelings and feel them in myself.

As I came forward into the power chakra, it was my birthday week....and that really was a fabulous week.  If only it were that easy for me to sit and dwell in my power!  But so often, it feels like a struggle to be heard.  I know part of it is my fear that I will speak out loud & proud and be ridiculed....or worse yet, just ignored.  There's a fear-ruled voice that says it is better to stay silent, to be ignored without speaking because to take the chance would hurt so much more.

And that's old wounding.  Wounding that I am pushing past with each of these blog posts.  To speak my truth, even if it's a little intellectual and spiritual, and maybe not sexy hot.  There is sexiness in speaking Truth, in being brave enough to speak it.  Those are my lessons in these chakras.

Wicked!

I celebrated my birthday the last week of January.  It took up most of the week, which was pretty great.  After getting over the holiday blues, my month of reflection was wonderful and spacious. I practiced over-the-top desserts for my party, enjoyed seeing my separate circles of friends mingling together, and reveled in a wonderful happiness.  There was the party, a few special dinners, and my birthday week culminated with a small group coming with me to see Wicked.

Wicked is based on a novel by Gregory Macguire, retelling the story of the Wicked Witch of the West.  It brings to question..."are people born wicked, or do they have wickedness thrust upon them?" The witch, Elphaba, is actually trying to stand up for what she believes in, only to painted as wicked because she stands in the way of the current ruling powers.  Not only is the message very real, but the show is just fantastic.  I've always been a musical fan, since my clarinet-playing days, but I hadn't taken in San Francisco's theater until recently.  Wicked totally reawakened that love.

It was perfect timing too. At a time when I'm focusing on my gifts and living who I am to the fullest, so that I can encourage that in others...this was just the perfect show to see.  My favorite song comes at the end of the first act, when Elphaba decides it's not worth living a lie to gain social acceptance.  The song, Defining Gravity, is so powerful for me.

"Something has changed within me,
something is not the same.
I'm through with playing by the rules of
someone else's game.

Too late for second guessing,
Too late to go back to sleep.
It's time I trust my instincts,
close my eyes...and leap."

It feels like my theme song.

Winter Reading List

I've been reading quite a few books in the past couple of months. Some I'm still working through, some I've finished.  Much of them have been non-fiction or for my course. I still manage some casual reading though.

I finished the last bit of The Sea Priestess, by Dion Fortune. I kinds knew where it was heading, the last chapter, while  very well written...perhaps a little predictable. I have been enjoying going through it again to find the most teaching passes.

In the Dark Places of Wisdom, by Peter Kingsley. I picked this up while browsing Green Apple Books. It traces the Western philosophy and occult movements to the original split, and dives deeper to reveal its Eastern roots. It was an interesting perspective that has a ring of truth to it.

All My Heroes Were Hos, by Phyllis Serene. A picked up a kindle copy pretty cheap, as a recommendation. It's a fun little read, and shows be what could be possible for my own writing in the future.

The Long Day: The Story of a New York Working Girl, by Dorothy Richardson. Free as digital on Amazon! Originally published in 1905, it was converted to digital by a team of volunteers. A little glimpse into history is quite interesting. I'm not very far into it, truth be told. It had been in my kindle app for bits of casual reading.  Too bad I've not had much time for casual!

The Invisibles, volumes 1 & 2, by Grant Morrison. I borrowed these from a good friend, reading a bit here and there in between more "serious" literature.  But there are ideas tucked away in this comic, invisible worlds, altered consciousness...it has strangely informed my magickal studies. Then again, perhaps not so strange, as Morrison himself is a magician!

Sin in the Second City: Madams, Ministers, Playboys, and the Battle for America's Soul, by Karen Abbott.. Another book I picked up. This one is about the Everleigh Sisters and their infamous Everleigh Club in Chicago, during the 1930s. I'm still working my way through it, but I really love the way these two work.  They have a finesse I would gladly study under.

The Myth of Male Power, by Warren Farrell. The men in our course were reading this, so I decided I should read it too. And yes, I'm so glad I did. I'm only into the second chapter, and I'm surprised at how familiar I am with some of these concepts. The Red Queen talked a little about the biological side of male disposability disguised as male power, and this book has more of the psychological and cultural/socialization side of it.

Taking Time for Self

A part of my homework was to observe and to create rituals for self care.  In an initiatory path, any transformational work really, the first thing that happens is that all the old bits that no longer serve you, or are potential obstacles--all that starts to break up and reveal itself.  So taking care of the self, remaining conscious of the path and giving love to the self are all very important.

And I find the better I treat myself, the more that love just radiates out. It's been hard at times...I get caught up in the bustle of the holiday season. Yoga has been a wonderful way to take time out.  I'm reading more too. After a few books for my courtesan study, I'm taking a break with a few Grant Morrison graphic novels.  Now that guy knows a thing or two about initiation and magick. In fact, some of the material hits so close I'm not so sure this is light reading after all.

With all the bustle of the holiday season, I'm prepared to sit in my hotel room this week all alone with my class notes and journal. Maybe get some holiday shopping done. And then again, Babalon may gift me with a few wonderful men.

After all, I've been taking time out for myself....why not take some time out for yourself too?

Conversations at Work

I'm taking a lot more time off now, so I'm getting questions from co-workers. This one is preserved as much as possible because it's a gem.  Imagine me talking about this with an old Chinese woman....


"So...what this program you doing?"

"It's a program for...counseling. You know how some people feel bad about their body, they are lonely and want to meet someone? Or sometimes people just need to feel listened to, to feel connection. My friends always came to me for relationship advice, even before I ever started dating. So that's kinda what I'm doing..."

"Oh...you help people feel good with themselves. They spend time and feel better. They leave with smile on."

"....Yes, *****. That's exactly it!"

Diving Deeply: The Root Chakra

The last couple of weeks went by in a blur. The first part of spent in preparation for my weekend intensive. I had been calling them three day workshops, but now I understand why she calls them intensives. We spent most of three days with each other, learning from our teachers, from each other. Diving deeply into the energies of the root chakra: foundation, community, the material and sensual world, a coming into our bodies and our purpose. It was part magickal education, energy work, psychology and self-analysis, therapeutic techniques, life coaching and a path of spiritual initiation.

The first half of this week was something of a Toad's Wild Ride...getting my schedule straight for the next month and realizing my calendar starting to take shape for a full year. Holiday preparation. Beer brined turkey! And a list of old and dear friends to get back in touch with.

There is a new urge in me to become more seen...to live my path just a little more "out" and to put my gifts out there. To live my spiritual path more visibly and consciously.

And there is an urge to find space to let loose and be wild, and explore the spontaneous healing possible in that too.

Working with Taboo

One of my favorite types of sessions is exploring and playing with taboos.  Taboos, what is culturally or socially forbidden, is part of what defines a group of people. Those who don't play along are shunned or marginalized.  But nobody fits in completely, we are all drawn to one forbidden thing or another. We are drawn to these things because what is forbidden holds mystery, holds unknown keys to shadowed parts of ourselves.

My favorite taboo may be mixing sex in the workplace.  Stuffy offices, noisy factories. We are told constantly never to form relationships in the workplace, yet it happens. There is something in blurring those lines, in giving into animal drives despite logical reasoning. I also like the idea of bringing that erotic, intimate energy into places so often devoid of it.

And of course, coming to see a escort has its own taboo. Two people meeting in secret, creating something in a container made of shadow and secrecy.  It reminds me so much of magicians coming together for a secret sex rite.  Even just indulging in your own pleasure has been taboo due to this country's puritanical roots.

A more private taboo is my desire for submission. It's not secret that I tend towards the submissive in the bedroom and in play, but I rarely see the full range of it except with my own lovers. Much of it I would only indulge in with those I have a strong trust in. It takes a lot of trust for me to truly give up power.

There's lots of other taboos I like to explore, but I'll save them for another time.