FAQ Series, pt 1

What should I expect in a first visit?

Come ready to relax and enjoy yourself. I like for first meetings to be more about experiencing the energy of these two people coming together, than about a preconceived fantasy. There's nothing wrong with fantasy play, but I seek joyful spontinaity over scripts.

What sort of etiquette should I keep in mind for our first meeting?

If you have a chance to freshen up first, that is always appreciated. There will be a shower and fresh towels available for your use if you'd prefer to shower once you arrive.  There will also be a spot for you to place my donation at the beginning of our date. If you aren't sure about something, please do ask. Im happy to answer polite questions. I tend to be generous with my time, so you can fully unwind. 

An FAQ series

Whatever have I been up to? Between work and yoga, there has been some serious soul searching going on, as a contemplate applying to a program that would take my path to the next level. Last year, I wasn't ready to commit to the program, and I'm glad I waited.  I do enjoy the people at my straight job, but I feel continually discontent. Worse still I feel drained energetically and creatively. I am feeling an overwhelming urge to put all my devotion into this personal path.

I did update my ads in what felt like forever. Fresh copy and a new rotation of pics. And I am working on a series of post that will become an FAQ. It also gives me a chance to beg you for questions. If you have something you'd like to ask, feel free to email me or post in the comments. Here's a short list that I've put together so far....

What should I expect in a first visit?

What sort of etiquette should I keep in mind for our first meeting?

Do you accept gifts?

Do you accept trades?

What draws you to the sacred side of this?

What separates sacred harlotry from other sex work?

Money and Sacred Service

I havent been advertising lately. I want to, I miss providing, but I am also in the process of reorienting myself. In the past, money has been such a priority that I think it contributed to burn out.  Now I have a chance to build something different: a path that is nourishing to both the client and myself. I want to provide a service where I don't feel dependent on my patrons. I don't like the idea of getting anyone "hooked" on me, spending more money than they can afford. I want to foster a healthy client/courtesan relationship. It would bring me great joy to hear of my clients taking that healing home to their wives, to rekindle sex lives. 

Making money is still part of the aim for me--growing a business that is mine, that can support me in other creative endeavors. There is a form of magick that takes place in the exchange of money, I've written about this before. It helps both parties acknowledge an exchange of energies. It aids in defining the relationship. 

For this to be a sacred path, for me, i want to grow abundance in a holistic way.  And yes, I think sex work can be done in a holistic fashion. But I suppose thats another subject.

Sharing Secrets, pt 2.

The secret of my sex work came out to just about the last family member that I care to tell. As for the rest, they will judge me how they will and I am at peace with that.  But it felt good to tell her--even if she's not of blood relation, she is family.

It marks a turning point, where I am no longer fearful of any of my family or loved ones rejecting me for what I do. Less and less do I worry what judgment others have. If I spent all my time trying to please people, doing what I thought they wanted, they would judge me as weak-willed and simply being a people pleaser, and they would be right. There is the nature of a people pleaser in me (how else could I enjoy this job so?) but I cannot let it rule every hour of my life.

As far as I know, I am unknown at work, but I don't know how long that can last. It seems inevitable, with the number of men working there. If I advertise regularly, it's only a matter of time before one of them sees me. Even if I blurred my face, I am not sure that would hide me.

I'm still deciding if I care about that, or if it just excites me.

Ideas of Sacred Sex

In an online conversation today, it was mentioned by an aquaintance that he finds sacred sexuality too "serious," without room for exploring in a playful way.  He is a fairly kinky fellow, as am I, and I can see his point.  In all of my book study thus far, I am finding a lot less sex than I thought. Also, in my meeting with other sacred sexuality practitioners, I find they focus on energy work and massage. They rarely, if ever offer full service. It may be a legality thing, or a personal boundary and either way, it's up to them.

What we view as sacred is shaped by many things, including how we were raised, our culture and society. Sacred things are touched by God, and profane things are not.

I take a wider view of the sacred.  Sacred sex does not need to be serious, quiet or solemn.  It can be crass, silly, even perverted. The Sacred exists in all things, manifested or potentially; usually a combination of both.  I do not separate between sacred and profane, at least not in a conventional way.  The archetype of the Trickster has taught me there is sacredness in profanity, wisdom in folly, and foolishness is the serious.  Any true idea contains its opposite within.

I know that in my own work, I straddle a line between the sacred sex priestess and the unabashed whore. And I like that. Not everyone who comes to me wants a heavy "sacred" vibe, or deep conversation.  Sometimes they just need to be touched, to spend naked time with a lovely woman, or get their rocks off.  Sometimes they don't know why.  But its my job to read that desire and deliver it, and that's what I love and miss about this.

The Body as Temple

I've been on a sort of health kick: taking yoga, eating lots of greens and organics, and exploring the idea of body as temple. It has been helpful in keeping my presence in my body fully. All too often, I live in my head.  Sex, of course, is a great way of being fully present in the body-sometimes to the point that the mind seems to dissolve into it.

Focusing on the health of my body, my first temple, has allowed me slow the pace of my mind's process. Helps me focus on the here and now, instead of a constant worry about the future (what will happen, am I prepared for it? what about contingency plans?)  and to just let things be.  It has helped me focus on myself in the moment.

My yoga teacher asked us to thank everyone who loved us into being during our meditation (legs up in the air, heels against the wall).  There were many people to thank: my parents, my family, my close friends.  But I also wanted to thank my clients here, all those who loved this inner harlot out into being. 

The Song Remains the Same

What delightful exploits can I tell you about? Not so much. I have mostly been studying and contemplating my next move. I've accepted the fact that things are going to move slowly (until something changes and it all happens at once!) and I am taking this cue from the universe. I know I won't be able to offer full days of I call for some time now, and I can't pretend that I'll be able to change that anytime soon. Instead, I am looking to see what I am capable of offering and making it special. Short appointments, midday appointments....not so much.  Longer sessions have always been a favorite of mine, and I think this will be key. I'd like to ask for a larger donation (to cover expensive I hotel costs) and relax the time constraints, encourage dinner dates and conversation. I also have an opportunity to take s three day workshop, on this favorite subject of mine. It could be intense(I hope so) and help me deepen this path that I am on.